Blibber Blabber

No rhyme, no reason

 

Body Parts Across the Ages

When I was old enough to inspect what I was looking at, I realized I got my slightly crooked upper lip from my great-grandma (whose picture can be found here, and wasn't she so pretty?).  It's strange, fun, wonderful to see glimpses of yourself in the past, and knowing, "Oh, that's why."

My father is half-Italian.  His mother was Italian, and her father and all his brothers came over in the early 1900s.  They were from northern Italy, and I won't tell you what his grandfather thought of southern Italians, except that there seems to be the same prejudice as the north and south here.  My father is not the stereotypical Italian.  I remember lots of sunburns after he spent the day cutting the grass or at the beach. ;)

My middle sister and I look a lot alike, but she got the Cherokee, I got the Scottish, although she claims my cheekbones and forehead are higher, and my eyes are more slanted than hers.  She can step outside for five minutes and get dark as bark. When she visited the other day, I was startled again by how black her eyes are.  She matches my mom, my papa, but that's where it stops, because we don't even know if we're on the Cherokee Rolls-- there seemed to be a few Cherokee/White Person hookups in this family (as probably thousands others).  A few of you know the guy who "supplied the sperm" to create me took off when I was little, but I guess he's why I have green in my eyes, red highlights in my hair.  Scot from his very Scottish family?  I suppose.

From time to time, YD analyzes herself, and how she looks doesn't look like us.  Frankly, I've never seen much of either of us in her.  OD is the spitting image of her dad, in girly form and sans goatee, and I'm always surprised when people say she looks like me.  She did it again last night.  YD: "I have your nose." ME: "Except mine's turned up more, so you have your dad's nose, too."  YD: "Yeah.  I have your eyes." ME: "Yours are rounder, but not as round as your sister's."  She is an amalgam, an appearance of long-lost family, with her tri-colored eyes and red hair.  How surprised we were to see the red hair on that little toddler!  Sometimes I miss her red afro; I miss her sister's blonde afro as well (I'm not being mean here; curly hair grows OUT before it grows DOWN).

Genetics certainly are like playing with Mr. Potato Head, aren't they?  Pick a part, stick it here, voila!  A new person-- kinda looks like this one, sorta looks like that one.  Mishmash enough of the parts and you have a whole new one that looks only like itself.  Perhaps that's the best of all.

***

The other day, I experienced one of the hardest days I suppose I will being a parent.  I hate feeling like I got kicked in the gut.  I am proud of myself for being calm and rational and honest in a time of my child's need.  I'm also thankful to high heaven that my child came to me.  For all the arguments and angst that go on during a teen's years, my child still trusts me.  Even if you don't do it to God, you pray for that.

I'm also thankful I got through it, because I know that these days are few and far between.  Sometimes I step out of my normally pessimistic nature and become an optimist.  I did it after my dad's stroke; I'm doing it now.  These days are few and far between, and thank God there are far more good moments.  I don't think we could function if there weren't; there'd be a lot more baby Moseses floating around.

So, talking with Mr. Calm and my sisters helped, and writing this helped, and I'll be fine.  We'll be fine.

***

Well, lookit this.  I wrote all this, when I could have been writing some wonderfully surreal, beautifully stark fiction.  I ain't even going to say, "Well, at least it's writing."  Hrm.

I did write my artist's statement yesterday.  Goddamn, that was hard.

***

Oh!  Short Movie Review!  Last night we watched "Brick", which is an indy film starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  Anyone who watched "Third Rock from the Sun" will remember him as the kid.  My goodness, he's turned into a really superb actor.  Seriously.  "Brick" is about a high school kid whose ex-girlfriend is killed, and he sets off to find out who did it.  But this ain't no ordinary h.s. drama.  They speak-- although not as ridiculously-- like they're in a noir film.  It's like modern-day noir, and it's intelligent, low-key, gorgeously filmed.  Lots of twists and turns and unexpected and tense moments, and that's all I can really say without giving too much away, but it's a must-see film.  Just loved it.  YD announced right after that it was now one of her all-time favorite films (some of her other all-time favorites are "The Green Mile" AND "White Chicks", so take that endorsement as you will).

Over the next few days, I'll be watching "Jesus Camp" and "Fast Food Nation".  Will post my mini-reviews of those, too.

***

Lastly, workouts are still going good.  I think I'm dieting four days a week; can't seem to make it a full week, but I'm being optimistic that 60% of the time I'm eating well and light, and making healthier choices.  Because of the new shoes (Hallelujah!  Sing their praises!!), I'm able to push myself harder at the gym without pain. I love it!  So, I may not lose weight as fast as my youngest sister (she put herself on a diet for New Year's, and has done fabulously), but I'm confident I will.  At least I'll get FIRM.  Hee.

 

posted by: athenawj at 07:32 | link | comments (3) |
movies, family, kids, diet

My sisters' visit was a great one.  We had a lot of fun out at dinner-- ate too damn much, too.  Or, I ate too fast-- either way, I felt like ralphing right afterward.  Even after two-and-a-half weeks, I'm not used to eating big meals anymore.  But, it was a treat, so I enjoyed it. :)

It also turned out to be a damn hard day, so it was nice to have them around to talk to.  Turned out they had no advice (heh) for me, but at least I had the sympathetic sounding boards.

I barely ate yesterday.  Didn't feel like it.  Didn't exercise either (except for my situps), because I didn't get any sleep, but that's the first weekday I missed since I started this diet.  Back to it this morning.  Feeling good.  I see a change in my stomach when I lay down (wow, that sounds like I'm stretching the facts!).

YD and I took a trip around the neighborhood last evening, getting some interesting shots.  There are silkworms hanging all over the place this week-- you really have to watch where you're going, or you'll end up with one in your hair or up your nose-- and some guy asked us if we wanted a dog.  Um, no thanks- not a doggie person.  It's nice to share a hobby with your kid; also, nice that the kid doesn't have to keep borrowing your camera.

posted by: athenawj at 07:03 | link | comments (2) |
photography, family, diet

Shoe report and stuff

I used the NBs at the gym yesterday.  With the exception of a little pain on the outside of my right foot, they worked marvelously.  It was SO nice not to have stabbing, shooting pains.  I was able to speed up on the treadmill and work up a better sweat.  Of course, was a little more sore afterward, but hey, it's all good.

Yesterday was more hoeing and planting- replacing all the old plants at the end of the patio with new, mulching and watering them, getting a few stragglers into pots.  YD surprised me by saying she was bored and asking to help me out (not with the digging and planting, of course, but the mulching and watering).  I still need to get alyssum to fill in the bare spots and zinnias and perennial wildflower seeds.

My littlest sister arrives tonight from L.A., tomorrow afternoon the middle sis comes in with her brood, and tomorrow evening all three of us are heading out for a Sisters' Night Out.  It's been years... I think the last time we did that was my 30th birthday. 

In art news: I sent off my membership check to the local artists' co-op, and I finalized what I'm sending to the art show in October.  Now I have to pick which one I want on the promo postcard.  Argh, choices!

I'm also almost done with two pieces: "Suspended Satisfaction" and "Family Dog".  Heh, wait til you see that one.

posted by: athenawj at 07:21 | link | comments (3) |
art , family, diet

No pictures as of yet (but you know they're comin'!), but we have two new additions to the family:

Tootsie and Mesh.

They are hermit crabs.  Tootsie's the guy and Mesh is the gal.  Yes, we want to raise them to be comfortable with sexuality.

So, to total: two cats, two rats, two hermit crabs.

Our ark slowly grows...

posted by: athenawj at 09:30 | link | comments (2) |
animals

Bitching and moaning in a blog is fine.  I mean, they're a form of diary, and our own, so why not?  But still: if you bitch and moan every single friggin' day, don't you think it's time for a change? Or change yourself? 

Rest assured, I'm not talking about any of the lovely ladies who come here to read and comment. :)

I know I've mentioned that over the past few weeks we've been doing major yard work.  Yesterday I got some flowers, and today I planted petunias, ranunculum (er, I think), and marigolds in the brick planters on my back stoop; some flowery perennials next to the front steps (surrounded by a pretty little white fence); and we're in the process of taking out the scraggly old ornamental grass and half-dead phlox (made so by the grass) at the end of our "patio" and replacing it with new grasses and phlox.  This week I'll finish the weeding and plant zinnia and perennial wildflower seeds in my regular garden patch and around the birdbath in the front yard.

We also got quotes from a guy on trimming one of the hedges (Mr. Calm DESTROYED one of them!  Argh!!!  Don't let a man with a chainsaw near your hedges when he doesn't know what he's doing!!!), getting rid of the blackberry debris next to the shed, and cleaning the gutters. VERY fair prices- I was surprised and pleased.  And yes, we're taking the cost out of the rent.  More on that later.

I also noticed, while I was outside talking to the guy, that red wasps were going in and out of our attic via a small hole.  Over the years, we've heard the occasional squirrel run through our attic, and Daddy Longlegs visit us on occasion, but this is the first time I've seen the wasps making our house theirs.

It wouldn't be a lie to say we haven't had wasps in the house before, because just two days ago we killed one, and that was nowhere near the first time.  But if we don't tell our landlord (actually, our landlord died last year-- this is her daughter) that they're in the house, too, she won't do a damn thing.  I guarantee you that.  If it doesn't have to do with the heat or plumbing, she won't raise a finger.  The gutters don't get cleaned, the trees and shrubbery are neglected-- these are all things in the lease that SHE'S supposed to take care of, yet won't.  And the other things take a long time to get done in the first place.

But we won't live in a house where wasps have taken up residence.   There are two holes that need to be patched, and the shutters to the attic need to be closed.  Someone also needs to get up there and kill the nest.

At times, as a renter, you're afraid that too much complaining will get you kicked out, regardless of housing laws.  But there are other times where you just have to bug the shit out of someone until they do what they're damn well supposed to do.

Why don't we buy?  With the housing market the way it is now, it'd take forever to sell, and forever to get out of here.  Pppplllbbbttt.

Hmm, did I just bitch and moan? ;)

posted by: athenawj at 20:36 | link | comments (2) |
gardening, house, dammit

Second week of diet: not as good eating, but I still exercised my butt off.  Yesterday morning I almost fell down on the treadmill from the pain, so I ordered an arch brace, medical-grade silicone shoe inserts, and we went to the New Balance store (thank goodness for Mr. Calm's good business week).  I've read countless consumer accounts of how good NBs are for foot pain.  It's been a long time-- probably since I was a kid-- since I've had a shoe salesperson put my shoes on for me.

I stood up and walked around.  Talk about arch support and shock absorbency-- it's like you're walking a foot above the floor!  NICE.  You bet your ass I'm breaking these suckers in this weekend.  I have a feeling I'm going to love these more than my trusty Crocs.

In art news: as soon as Zazzle-- infamous for dragging their butts sometimes-- takes them down, I will no longer be offering my Miss Millificent's World artwork as prints (all other products will still be available).  The direction things are going, it doesn't make sense. 

In writing news: What?  I'm a writer?

posted by: athenawj at 06:34 | link | comments (6) |
art , diet

The past two days I've upped my workout to 55 minutes (without the situps in the evening).  Couldn't do the situps last night because my back was sore between my shoulderblades and I didn't want to exacerbate it.  My left knee was also acting up, so I need to lower the weight on the exercise that makes it that way (hmm, make sense?).  AND my left foot hurt.

Oh Glory, getting old's fun, huh?  At least this morning I feel almost completely better.

Had a bit of a relapse in the diet part last night-- we went out to eat.  I made sure I didn't stuff myself, but still ate too much for a diet.  Oh, well-- seriously; I have to think that way so I don't feel guilty.  It's not like I gained all the weight back.

I'm in the process of narrowing down what I'll be showing at the gallery in October.  I've decided to take no one's advice and pick them myself.  Otherwise I'd have all kinds of choices thrown at me.  The four I have picked out right now are my absolute favorites.  Gotta choose two more.

I've also decided to hold off a month or two from subbing to two other galleries til I have some of my new artwork finished.  Today will be painting a canvas, a dollhouse window, printing and cutting out the artwork that will be decoupaged to the canvas.  Tomorrow will be gluey fingers galore.  Fun for all!

posted by: athenawj at 06:24 | link | comments (2) |
art , diet

The first week of my diet went swimmingly super.  The nicest surprise came Thursday when my feet stopped hurting the way they usually do.  Still a little burning and pain in my feet, but either getting used to the exercise or my decision to take shorter strides is helping.  Makes me happy!

Today is the real "First Day" of Week Two.  I pretty darn successfully duplicated an Arby's Hot Ham and Swiss sandwich at home.  Tasty, and low-fat, too!

In Art News:

I got a mail from a curator for a Seattle gallery over the weekend.  She loves my art, and would like me to show in October with some other artists.  Maybe five pieces.  So, while I will show this year at some local shows, that was my first "invitation".

I don't get excited, like jumping around like a loon.  But I wore a huge grin. :D

I also queried another gallery asking about their subs process.  We'll see how that goes, too.

posted by: athenawj at 11:01 | link | comments (2) |
art , diet

"Friendship" is live!

I have a series of photographs entitled "Friendship" up in the latest (and last) issue of HeavyGlow.  You can see them here.  A great BIG kudos to S., who did a terrific job with the zine during its run and allowed me several opportunities to get my photography out there.  On another note, if you're reading this: I hope you feel better soon, S.

I've been surrounded by sickies the past few weeks, but (KNOCK ON WOOD) I'm still okay.  The third day of the diet went well-- I seemed to get more out of my workout, and while I ate a little more yesterday than I expected to, still came in under what would have put me over (if that makes sense).  The only drawback to this is that (TMI alert!) I have to pee a hell of a lot more.  Ugh, because I don't like having dreams about my full bladder.

I get to meet my new favorite artist tomorrow evening at the Untitled show.  We bought one of her paintings at the last Plowhaus show, but I saw her stuff way back in October at the Dia de Los Muertos show.  We've been trading messages via MySpace and I'm excited to talk to her.

I've also decided that I don't particularly care for straight out painting, so last week I began decoupaging my drawings onto canvases.  I also use 3-D fluid to heighten some aspects of the drawings.  It's time consuming, and there's more steps than just doing a painting or drawing, but I'm finding a lot of creative satisfaction in it.

Off to find the cats, shower, and start Day Four/Day One!

 

posted by: athenawj at 07:40 | link | comments (2) |
photography, diet

First day went well.  Ate like I should, exercised as much as I planned, and am feeling good.  It's a wonder what just one day will do for your psyche.

Sent out two story queries this morning.  As a former editor, I say unless you have specific reading windows, there is NO reason to keep a story in the queue for six friggin' months.  It's unreasonable.  The only reason I don't query earlier is because I forget about my subs.

I was going to do a surprise artwork for my granny, for her room at the home: one of her and my grandpa.  My mom went and told her.  Um... thanks.  I guess it's partly my fault for not telling her that it was to be a surprise, but still-- it's been years since I've felt I could tell my mom something in confidence, big or small.  I usually don't.

Besides, what if what I made/make turns out like shit?  And I didn't want to give it to Granny?  How disappointing would that be for her?  If she hadn't known, it wouldn't have mattered.  Sheesh.

The yard is cleared except for the brambles surrounding the shed.  The brambles are there courtesy of all the birds and their seeded poopies.  I think we'll have to call someone to clear it, because death by thorns is not the way we'd like to go.

I've had one offer to co-write, and one for my editorial services.  We'll see how they both turn out.  And I have a story idea and a book idea.  Best to not mention those, since the way they've gone in the past couple of years hasn't been the greatest.

 

 

posted by: athenawj at 06:59 | link | comments |
art , gardening, writing

"Atomic Runner" live!

My story "Atomic Runner" is now up for your reading pleasure.  You can find it at Fusion Fragment, a new online zine.  And it's free to read!

Because of all the work the electric company did last fall (spring?), and our work over the past couple of weekends, we've rid the areas around the house of most of the creeper and other assorted weeds and brambles that have accumulated over the past eight years.  Why so long?  Because you have one person allergic to weeds (me), and one allergic to bees (Mr. Calm).  Yard work can prove dangerous at times for us.  But our honeysuckle bush is still standing, and if the electric company tries to get ahold of it, I'm shooting them down. Not literally.  But there's nothing like inhaling that lovely scent (even though the juice doesn't taste anything like it did when I was little), and they won't take that from me.

For health reasons, I'm now on a diet.  Although I feel this way most of the time, because of my natural build I can't even be called really fat, but the extra weight I've taken on has taken a toll on my feet.  I spent all my twenties walking my ass off-- Salem and Boston are spectacular for that-- and the switch to having to friggin' drive everywhere has not been good for my body.  And the damage to my left foot has gotten so much worse that I can barely move it in any direction without pain.  In addition to a brace, I know I can alleviate the pain and prevent any further damage by losing this weight.

Not all of it, mind you.  I'll never go back to how skinny I was (as a friend put it, "You didn't look anorexic, BUT...", so there you go).  But I want to get to a comfortable weight so my foot can heal some, my ankles don't swell on vacation, and I don't feel ten years older than I am.

So, a little encouragement if you can spare it.  It's going to be hard, especially since I'm a foodie.  Taking it day by day, and in the scheme of things, a year is not a long time.  I can do it.

posted by: athenawj at 06:02 | link | comments (2) |

Mr. Calm got back from London safe and sound.  Enjoyed his visit very much, although he said it was a chore trying to remember to drive on the left side of the road.  Also, the conversion rates.  But he brought me back some postcards, candy, ONE packet of PG Tips (thank goodness I can get it here), and a tiny little red phone booth. :)

I now am mom to a seventeen-year-old.  OD had her birthday yesterday.  My sweet girl, growing up.

Painting like a fiend still.  Went back to my 'roots' today and did a decoupage picture.  "Girl in Cornfield with Sunflowers".  Eh, whatever.  Titles were never my forte.  I'm thinking about redoing my Button Chair.  It's old, dingy, and boring now.

Have been having an interesting back and forth convo with my old reviews editor about books we've hated to read and review.  Apparently, way back when, I put him in touch with a new author who wanted his book reviewed, and reading the book turned out to be a huge bore and very hard to write about.  Heheheheh.  Well, I wasn't *trying* to be evil... ;)

It's a glorious seventy degrees today, with blue skies and a balmy breeze.  We have dandelions in the yard.  I'm pissed that we had such a crappy winter, but... it's hard not to smile at days like this.

posted by: athenawj at 13:07 | link | comments (2) |
art , family, kids

Tired today.  A little sore.  I don't sleep well whenever Mr. Calm's gone so I'm probably going to feel it sometime midday.

With the exception of a lunch break and going to pick up more movies (Inside Man, The Devil Wears Prada, Hollywoodland, Joyeux Noel), and little breaks here and there, I cleaned and moved from 7:30 a.m. to 7:20 last night.  I moved all of the books and two of the three bookshelves myself.  Got the ingenious idea to use comforters to move the books: slide them from one room to the other.  Nice!  The bookshelves were in place and half the books on the living room floor when the girls got home (and all of the cookbooks on the kitchen table and freezer).  YD said now the living room looks like a REAL living room, heh.  I love the way it looks.

The last thing I need to do in there is move some pictures-- the bookshelves are now blocking parts of two of them.  Although... I'm contemplating taking them down and putting them in storage; replacing them with the new stuff I've done.  I don't know.  I'll miss the pictures, bought during my Mother & Child phase... but they're old and dark, and my new stuff more matches the colors I'd like to bring.  Eh, we'll see.

The last thing I cleaned was Mr. Calm's office.  Jeez, what is it with some guys?  Do they just not see how they look like they're working in squalor, or do they just not care?  So, I moved a desk against the wall that had been in the middle of the room (because of the bookshelves), opening up the room; dusted and swept; picked up the tiny mountains of paper trash (but put it the bag in the closet for his return, lest I threw away something important by accident); stacked the dozens and dozens of magazines, and straightened shelves. 

Both the girls, upon seeing the room: "Wow.  It's BIG."  Heh.  And you can actually walk through it now!  Later, YD remarked that he'll probably hate it.  I doubt it, but... he better not!

I can't believe I've written two successive blogs about cleaning.  Wow.  My life is... exciting.

posted by: athenawj at 06:41 | link | comments (1) |
house

List

Mr. Calm is in London on business now til Monday, and with the girls busy and OD working again, I'm pretty much on my own. Things on the agenda:

--Cleaning the house.  I tend to go on cleaning sprees when I'm by myself for a length of time.  It's nice to scrub everything, then bask in how it's going to stay clean for awhile.

--Move bookshelves.  Oh, this might hurt-- one of them, sans books, is extremely heavy.  But it's gotta be done.  Mr. Calm's office is so cramped you can barely move, and he never got around to doing it.  So, I will!  It'll be nice to have all my cookbooks in the kitchen, instead of having to search through shelves and shelves to find the one I'm looking for.

--Well, I was going to savor the movies, but I ended up watching both last night: Closer (Pretty People with Problems) and The Departed.  Closer was much better than I thought it would be (I could even stand Julia Roberts), and The Departed was very good, though not as good as Goodfellas.  Poor Martin Scorcese-- I think he spoiled everyone with that movie.

(Also: Damn You, Scorcese!  I could have done without the ending of The Departed.)

--Continue painting.  I've been doing that since Saturday.  It's not too wonderful, as I'm more used to painting chairs and furniture than canvasses, but it's enjoyable.  For the most part.  I think as time goes by the end product will look more like my initial vision.

--Buy jeans that I don't have to hang onto when I bend over.  Gah, I hate those.

posted by: athenawj at 06:34 | link | comments (2) |
real blibber blabber