Blibber Blabber

No rhyme, no reason

 

Foul

It sucks to go through your days with a bad mood simmering in the back of your mind. 

I didn't realize that the guy who hit us told Mr. Calm right off the bat that he didn't hit us, so of course that's what he told his insurance company.  In turn, they're questioning us: "Are you sure he hit you?"  Duh, idiots! Our driver's side has a big dent now, the door's stuck, and the rim's scraped-- it didn't happen on its own!   And then we get the police report.  The cop didn't list the driver's side damage at all, and put on the report that because of the guy's careless and reckless driving (man, he better have gotten a ticket), he caused us to hit the construction wall.  That makes all the difference.  If it's found that we hit the wall swerving to avoid his van, that means his insurance won't pay a dime and we have to foot the whole bill.

There's three witnesses here that sure as hell know the guy hit us, and then kept on going like he hadn't done a damn thing, but then there's his lying side, and I don't know how this is going to play out. 

We're waiting on the cop to call us back so he can fix the report, but I don't know if he will.  The damage on our car sure shows that the guy hit us, but it seems strange that his insurance company won't even come out to inspect it.  After YD was bit by the dog, the owners' home insurance rep came out to talk with her and see the bite.

And I'm stuck here til my car's fixed, because I can't drive Mr. Calm's car with its stick shift.

posted by: athenawj at 09:24 | link | comments (3) |
bullshit

Guess

Who/What's it for?

FUNERAL:

posted by: athenawj at 18:01 | link | comments (2) |
art

Wild Turkeys and Moles

The neighborhood has been invaded.  Or, as YD puts it, "It's a mini War of the Worlds!"

I don't know what the hell the moles are doing-- getting ready for winter?-- but they've totally invaded us.  We've gotten lucky with only three mounds in our yard, but man, some of the neighbors have mounds numbering in the teens.  Sometimes an evil chuckle bubbles from my mouth when I see them.  We live around people who do or die by their yards, and it must be killing them, seeing their carefully-cultivated, clover-free lawns churned up by the little boogers.  Me, I don't like 'em much-- I'm afraid one day I'm going to walk over one of the many soft spots in our yard and instead of continuing on my merry way, my foot's just going to plunge down a foot or so.  But something about all this is just wondrous.  I like watching nature at work.

***

For a year or so, the girls and Mr. Calm have been telling me of these giant birds they see on the lawns down the block and across the street.  "Four feet tall!  They're ENORMOUS!"  I would scoff and say they're not that big, or they're just seeing vultures.  The other morning, about eleven o'clock, we were off to run errands, and I finally got to see the gigantic mutant birds they've been talking about.

Wild turkeys.  As many as half a dozen in a couple of yards.  I spotted two just moseying up someone's driveway.  They were scattered across seven or eight yards, I suppose pecking around for bugs. The street they were on is directly above a valley filled with farms, barns and absolutely beautiful farmland, and I guess the turkeys like to venture up with us suburbanites and catch some grub.

They really are enormous.  And I know they aren't, um, intellectually challenged like their cousins, so if I lived over in one of those houses, I'd stick out the welcome mat and say, "Come on-- eat what you like, like what you eat!  And please don't hurt me."

Gobble gobble!

posted by: athenawj at 08:49 | link | comments (2) |
animals

So, our luck just went up, as far as driving around goes.  Because now that we've been in a car wreck, the chances that we'll be in another are pretty slim, right?

We were on our holly jolly way to one of the malls in town, Mr. Calm, OD and I, getting off the parkway and onto the interstate.  We get onto the ramp that leads to the access road.  Two seconds after we do, a big Dodge Grand Caravan decides that that's exactly what it wants to do, too, and cuts across the flat divider separating the parkway from the exit ramp.  Its nose was about three feet ahead of our Cruiser's and drifting fast toward our driver's side.  Mr. Calm slammed on the brakes and hit the horn, but all my wishing that we'd escape unscathed was for naught.  The Caravan hits us, then knocks us against the low wall separating the exit from construction.  No, not 'knocks'-- we scraped along for a second or two.

And then he friggin' takes off!  Just gliding along, speeding up like he hadn't done a damn thing.  Our car was still running fine, so Mr. Calm shoots after him, honking the horn, and I'm right next to him babbling the Caravan's license plate number over and over til I can write it down.  Finally, about a hundred yards later, the Caravan pulls onto the shoulder toward the end of the access ramp.

"I'm sorry.  I didn't see ya'll-- you were in my blind spot."  I would have liked to have yelled a few choice things, mostly stuff like, "Fuck you, dumbass", but I just yelled something about him needing to learn how to LOOK and got back into the car to call 911.  Because, see, Mr. Calm was stuck in the driver's side.  Yep, we can't open the driver's side door now.  We couldn't figure it out at first, but there's a slight dent over the front left wheel, and it caused the that part of the body to shift backward and against the door.

Mr. Calm slid out on my side and talked to the guy, and we looked over our cars, which amazingly aren't scratched at all, although the hubcaps on the passenger side of the Cruiser are shredded at the edges from scraping the wall, and then we got into our respective cars and waited over an hour for the cop to show up (we had to call twice!). 

While we were waiting and watching the exit ramp for the cop, we saw three other cars do the same thing that the Caravan did.  There are a plethora of forks in the interstates around town, and construction galore, and too many people realize too late that they're in the wrong lane, and find nothing wrong with shooting across the diagonal lines to get to their exit.  That and just plain crazy drivers are the reason I'm the Queen of the Long Way-- I cannot STAND being on the interstate here.  What happened yesterday didn't help.

So, we've filed the report, and got his insurance info, and called our own insurance, and we should get a call from his in a day or two.  And hell yeah he's paying for it all.  But I am thankful that none of us were hurt, mostly OD.

We did end up going to the mall, after all.

***

I learned that my granny went into a nursing home on Friday.  I support the decision.  Most of my family was able to live out their days in their own homes, but my papa has COPD, and my mom also has my dad to take care of.  My granny just cannot take care of herself anymore.  It's a nice place, just a few blocks from Papa and my parents.  It looks old, so it's why many people eschew it, but my mom's best friend was in there before he died, and he liked it a lot.  She has roommates, and visitors are welcome all day long-- they'll even give you a meal too if you're there at mealtime-- and my mom's able to visit every day.  The only thing so far is that Granny kept trying to get out of her wheelchair.  She can't walk.  So they had to get special permission to put a seatbelt on her.

I've already got a framed picture of my girls to take to her; I'm going to look around before we go and pick up another thing or two to brighten up her room.  I was thinking some dried pretty flowers, maybe? 

posted by: athenawj at 07:29 | link | comments (3) |
family, the seriousness of it all

Post-Christmas

We had a very nice day yesterday.  No snow, but that's the norm here.  At six o'clock, my eyes popped open as I thought, "Shit!  We forgot to fill the stockings!"  Also, put out Pere Noel's gifts, and eat Santa's cookies and drink Santa's milk.  First year that's ever happened-- I attribute it to the way I crashed on the couch at eleven o'clock.  Luckily, no one else got up until 8:30, so no one was disappointed that "Santa and Pere Noel didn't show up/forgot about us".

In addition to candy, Santa left a couple of gag gifts for the girls: YD got a big Napoleon Dynamite magnet, and OD got Cat Butt stickers.  Pere Noel was nicer, and caught them up on their Growing Up Girls.  An end of an era-- I've been doing this since OD was four and YD two, and now OD is done. 

Other than that, it was nice that we could fill their lists-- they're good girls, and don't go overboard--, with the exception of YD's request for an eyebrow piercing.  NO!  OD loves her Wii, and YD was itching to go spend her gift certificates.

Appliances were the theme this year.  From my youngest sister we got a Cuisinart ice cream maker.  I got Mr. Calm the Sunbeam equivalent of a George Foreman grill, and he got a me a rice steamer and a quesadilla maker.  Guess what we're having this week? ;)

We got nice gifts from the girls.  OD got Mr. Calm a tribal mask (it's very... interesting looking!), and me a Jack Skellington doll in pajamas.  YD got me a lovely candle holder and fruity-scented candles, and got her dad a big bamboo plant.

I think the presents I like the most are my handmade Accident Doll from Strange Dolls, and my Williams-Sonoma gift card.  The Accident Doll is gorgeous (although many would probably beg to differ-- she's got a bloody nose), and as I described her to my mom, I realized she actually looks like my mom when she was younger.  Sans the bloody nose, of course.  The gift card-- I go into WS whenever I pass it and never buy anything; just drool over stuff and widen my eyes at the prices.  Now I have to buy something.  Time will only tell just how long it takes me to make up my mind on what to get.

Dinner was mostly uneventful.  I did forget to defrost the pork chops, so I spent thirty minutes with the microwave doing that, but all the food turned out tasty.  Even my chocolate truffle loaf unmolded perfectly.  Cream of sweet potato soup topped with tiny marshmallows, pork chops topped with stuffing made of bread cubes, alouette cheese and bacon, garlic mashed potatoes, cheese biscuits...

So, I'm done with my food, and I'm still sitting at the table.  Mr. Calm has a habit of trying to get YD giggling during meals, because once she gets going it's hard for her to stop.  Sometimes it aggravates me and I get him to quit, because I'm afraid she'll choke on her food.  Yesterday, he said something to her while she was drinking her milk.  Thank God I was looking down.  Thank God I wasn't looking at her.

"OH MY GOD!" I yelled as I was pummelled with a mouthful of milk.  Yes, folks, YD did a spit-take and I got the brunt of it.  Spatters of milk across my plate, my right arm, my face, the table-- it was as shocking and sudden as if someone had thrown a water balloon at me.

Luckily (for her and Mr. Calm, I suppose), I was startled into laughter.  All of us were, laughing so hard we could barely catch our breath.  Luckily (for Mr. Calm) it was just milk that landed on me. I don't think I would have thought it as funny if it had been little chewed bits of pork chops.

So, today we're off to redeem gift cards and maybe stock up on next year's wrapping paper, since I'm totally out now.  I hope everyone else had a great Christmas, too.

posted by: athenawj at 09:52 | link | comments (2) |
holidays

Food Meme

What is your first memory of baking/cooking on your own?

I had an Easy-Bake Oven when I was about six or so.  It came with a little Pillsbury Dough Boy pan and I made a little cake.  I still have that pan, by the way!

Who had the most influence on your cooking?

I would say Mr. Calm, who gave me the most invaluable advice early on in our relationship: "Read the recipe".  Seriously.  I think a lot more people would calm down about cooking if they just took the time to follow directions.

Do you have an old photo as "evidence" of an early exposure to the culinary world and would you like to share it?

I don't have it to share, but I know there's a picture of me in my little apron, grinning at the camera with two missing teeth while I mixed the batter for my Dough Boy cake.

Mageiricophobia - do you suffer from any cooking phobia, a dish that makes your palms sweat?

I do tend to get nervous when I fry homemade French fries, only because I got a bad burn about ten years ago making Belgian fries.  No, I've never made them since.  Imagine boiling oil rolling down your arm and you'll see why.

And I cannot be around cooking carrots.

What would be your most valued or used kitchen gadgets and/or what was the biggest letdown?

I think my most valued would be my Sil-Pat mat, which really does keep your cookies, biscuits, etc., from burning.  Also my Braun hand-held mixer; a gift from my mom about fourteen years ago.  Still running strong.

Biggest letdown?  Hrm... probably the checkerboard cake pan.  I was so excited to get it... and it's just too much of a hassle to use.

Name some funny or weird food combinations/dishes you really like - and probably no one else!

Grilled peanut butter and bacon sandwiches.  I haven't had one in years, but they are SO tasty.

What are the three eatables or dishes you simply don’t want to live without?

Chicken Tortilla Soup
Chocolate Ganache
Mashed Potatoes

Three quickies:
Your favorite ice-cream…

Peanut Butter and Chocolate

You will probably never eat…

Haggis.  Tripe.  Cooked carrots.  Barbequed chicken. 

Your own signature dish…

Chicken Tortilla Soup.  Mashed potatoes.  Fiesta Pork Chop Casserole.  Double Chocolate Cherry Pie.

What weird regional food have you eaten that would make most people gag?

I'm pretty picky.  I don't think I've ever eaten any weird Southern or Northern specialties.  I guess the closest I've come is considering the scrapple on a visit to Pennsylvania.

posted by: athenawj at 09:04 | link | comments |
food

Christmas Meme

(Yes, I'm up doing a meme.  I have very visceral nightmares that make me reluctant to fall back asleep.)

Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate.  Egg nog.  Depends on my mood.

Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Huh?  Oh.  Santa wraps 'em, although Santa's more inclined to put them in gift bags these days.  And they're never from Santa-- this year they are from professors at Hogwarts or dirty, minor Greek gods like Pan.  Hey, there's even one from Cecil B. DeMille!

Colored lights on tree or white? Both. We live across the street from a guy who hangs twenty thousand lights on his house.  It's very beautiful, but I like to counter all that white with sloppily hanging colored lights over my bushes.

Do you hang mistletoe? No, although I think I could stand under one of my trees and ask for a kiss.

When do you put your decorations up? Usually right after Thanksgiving, but because of our trip, it was done the week of turkey day.

What is your favorite holiday dish? Pumpkin pie loaded with whipped cream!  Yes, a habit I never gave up from childhood.  If you can still see the pie, you don't have enough cream on there.

Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Hrm.  I swear to God, we used to have Charlie Brown's tree for a few years: this scraggly potted thing that we kept year round.  I never liked it as a kid, but now I have fond memories of it.

When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I was seven.  A sorrowful moment.  I think my mom was actually talking about the saint, because Santa wasn't just not real-- Santa was dead!

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Of course!  A little tidbit to tide us over and keep the kids from going insane from greed. ;)

How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? With my hands.  I used to do it with my teeth but that got tiring.

Seriously, Mr. Calm sets it up (it's a white artificial one), I string it with lights, then I enlist the girls to put all the ornaments on.
 

Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it!  Wish we friggin' got more down here.

Can you ice skate? No.  That was one of my goals this year, but it didn't stick.

Do you remember your favorite gift? Gosh, there were lots.  My engagement ring, hidden in a bag of Burt's Bees stuff.  The Jaws game we got when I was six or seven.  My Six Million Dollar Man doll (complete with bionic eye!).  Barbie townhouse.

What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Making my kids happy.

What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Pumpkin pie smothered in whipped cream!

What is your favorite holiday tradition? Hmm.  Decorating the house? I don't know-- we don't have any traditions except for stockings for Santa's goodies and shoes out for Pere Noel's goodies.

Oh, yes, another tradition: Mr. Calm started this four years ago, where we don't put "From Mom" or "From Dad" on the presents-- instead, they are "From Jesus" or "your favorite wife" or "From Jackie Chan".  Sometimes they are clues, sometimes put down for the hell of it.  Mr. Calm got one from the God of Pickled Herring this year.

Unfortunately, the girls think this is corny, so they don't join in. :(

What tops your tree? A country-style angel that we've had since OD was tiny.

Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving, although presents are nice. :D

What is your favorite Christmas Song? Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24" and "Do You Hear What I Hear?".  The loveliest version was the one we sang in Chorus one year, in rounds.

Candy Canes? Yuck.

posted by: athenawj at 02:33 | link | comments (2) |
meme

5 Things I Own

Note: These are all guesses.  I have no idea what ya'll own.

Name a CD you own that no one else on your friends list does.

Probably Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" cover.

Name a book you own that no one else on your friends list does.

SK Epperson's "Borderland".

Name a movie you own on DVD/VHS/whatever that no one else on your friends list does.

"Ravenous".  1800s cannibals=mucho fun.  And Guy Pearce looks great scruffy.

Name a place that you have visited that no one else on your friends list has.

Hillbilly Hot Dogs in Lesage and Huntington, WV.
The mall in Sherbrooke, Quebec.
Goodale Orchards, Ipswich, MA.

Name a piece of technology or any sort of tool you own that you think no one else on your friends list has.

Wacom tablet.  I plug it into my computer and draw on it-- it shows up onscreen.  Generally I use it for tracing my scans, erasing and coloring.  Roman Dirge once said that if Jesus were alive, he'd use a Wacom tablet.  I agree.

posted by: athenawj at 09:52 | link | comments (4) |
meme

Atomic Runner

My story "Atomic Runner" sold to Fusion Fragment, a new zine.  When it comes up, I'll post the link.

To those who might remember: this is the story that I withdrew from acceptance at another zine earlier in the year.  Finally found another home for it.

Now all I need to do is find a home for the third story I have set in this world, but at 9,200 words, with a protagonist who is dying of radiation sickness and boffing a Burnie, and a 'bad guy' with a foot-long penis (a Mutie with the Mostest!), I'm not so sure that'll ever happen.

posted by: athenawj at 17:49 | link | comments (4) |
writing

Love 'em or Leave 'em

So, I'm probably going to end up lying to my family in the next few days.  Hrm, is it really lying?  Perhaps "a tactful reinterpretation of the facts" would be better (if that indeed is a word back there).

My middle sister's plans, for whatever reason that I'm not yet privy to (although I have an inkling), have changed and now she's going to be visiting my parents at the same time we are, complete with her husband and kids in tow.  When she called me last night and told me, I was pretty quiet at first, but then I came round and said all the right things: oh, yeah, it'll be fun; we haven't done this in years!; maybe we can do this and that and this and the other...

Was I really happy?  Nope, not really.  I do love my sister dearly, and I love my nieces.  But to put it bluntly, that was supposed to be my family's time with my parents, uncle, and grandparents-- not a shared time.  I don't even consider myself selfish on this point, even though an uninformed person might read this and think that the holidays are supposed to be a time shared with family and I should be happy, and sure, I'd agree with that.  If we were just spending Christmas Day together.

Over the years, when it's come to spending time together, we're pretty much subjected to what time is best for my sister and her brood, not us.  And we've visited the folks together before, and we've always had to defer the schedule to them.  It's tiring, and I do know from past experience that if I bring it up, my side won't be taken.

Another reason I don't want to go is: I've already done the little kid thing.  I realize that I may have grandkids in the future, and I'm fine with spending time with my own grandkids, but at this point I don't want to spend three days in a small house with a toddler and a six-year-old.  I like my kids at this age: self-sufficient, don't need constant potty breaks and diaper changes, etc. 

(and I have spent three days before in a small house with a toddler and six-year-old.  I do that when I go to visit my sister.  That's an entirely separate thing.)

Besides, I don't think it's petty that I'd like my kids, who haven't seen their grandparents in a year-and-a-half, to have alone time with them.  I also wanted alone time with my mom, and had planned a couple of things for us to do.  That was very important to me.  It irks me some that I wasn't even asked, "Hey, do you mind if we visit at the same time that you do?"  This has happened before as well: my own plans discussed behind my back and changed without asking me, as if I don't even need to be consulted.  Why does my opinion matter so little?

It doesn't help when you're known in the family from the time you were small as the "quiet, serious one".  Y'know, the one who won't speak up, or won't say a word if you walk all over her.  Fuck that.

Anyway, I'm just going to make an excuse about Mr. Calm's work and postpone the trip til January 1.  I shouldn't have to, since this was our planned time to go and they're intruding on that, but for other reasons, this isn't the time to upset anyone.

But hell, it's okay if I'm upset, right?

posted by: athenawj at 07:13 | link | comments (5) |
family, bullshit

I worked my butt off, and Miss Millificent's World is filled with updates.  New artwork, new photography (in the "Nature and Rural", "Selective Color and Effects", and "Disney" sections), and a completely new gallery: CD Covers.  Please enjoy the fruits of my labor. :D

Tuesday night was YD's "Nashville debut": she and the rest of the Nashville Youth Repertory Orchestra performed.  To put it mildly, we're extremely proud of her-- hell, we're proud of all these kids.  But to hear your child play with a full orchestra in a symphony hall, to see her play second chair for a nine-minute Wagner piece*... well, to try to put it into words would diminish it.  I'm just so happy that she gets to do this.

*We suggested later that she adopt a more lady-like pose, because she was sitting like a cello player!  Thank goodness she had pants on.  She told us that if she doesn't sit that way her bow will hit her thigh, but she did add that she sometimes sits in a sidesaddle fashion. 

Off to clean.  Mine's such an exciting world.

posted by: athenawj at 09:37 | link | comments (2) |
music, art , photography, kids

Haiku Friday

Present:

Christmas drains my brain
I've lost my creative juice
Bring on the New Year!

Past/Present:

Dog dug up some bones
woman, man, blood, masked children
Got to kill the ghost

Future:

Dark, cramped, freedom lost
a whisper of end of Earth
Fight, but you still die

posted by: athenawj at 12:18 | link | comments |
writing

Friday Five

1. What job do you have, and why do you like/hate it?
Writer and artist.  Why do I like it?  Complete creative freedom, flexible schedule.  Why do I hate it?  They are fucking subjective industries.

2. As a kid, what did you want to be when you "grew up?"
Ha!  I imagine when I was little, I wanted to be a ballerina, because I drew them so much.  Then for a long time I wanted to be a police officer, then a police detective.  For a time, I wanted to be a grownup Harriet the Spy.  Then I chucked all those ideas because I realized I was too chicken.  As a teenager, although I knew by then that I was a writer, practically I wanted to be in commercial advertising.  I would have been good, too.

3. Is the job you have now anything like what you imagined as a kid?
Ha again!  No. 

4. Do you have a five-year career plan?
Eh, I don't really like to think that far ahead about this.  As always, the ultimate goal is to get a book published with a good publishing house that actually gets its books in brick-and-mortars.

5. In order to get the job of your dreams, is there anything you wouldn't do? Why?
I wouldn't sleep with anyone, nor kill anyone.  I  might knock someone down.

posted by: athenawj at 07:31 | link | comments (4) |
writing

One in Ten Thousand

You can read the opening excerpt of my short story "One in Ten Thousand" here.  It's appearing in the inaugural issue of GUD Magazine, and the editors nicely nominated it for a Pushcart Prize. 

It's one of only four stories of mine to be accepted on the first time out, so it's got a special place here.

And as far as the story I wrote Sunday and Monday went, I had to kick myself.  Twice.  Because it ended up at 5,200 words.

posted by: athenawj at 08:27 | link | comments (5) |
writing

I had quite a productive day.  Did the laundry, found mizithra cheese at Wild Oats, quickly cleaned the house (with a little help from the family), cleaned the rats' cage, and did a cd cover that initially gave me a helluva lot of trouble.  I hope the client likes it, because I won't enjoy doing it over.

Before that, though, I got up at 5:45 because of a tummyache.  When that was settled, I sat here and thought, "Damn, I want to do something."  So, after much searching for my notes, the first lines magically popped into my head, and I wrote just over 2,000 words on a short horror story that I came up with a few weeks ago.  I plan to get up early tomorrow, too, and finish it.  If it goes over 5,000 words I'm going to kick myself.  Twice.

The story has a female protagonist.  So does my novel (although there is also a male protagonist, she's the main MAIN character).  This got me curious: out of all I write, do I have more male or female main characters?  I've been 'accused' before of writing like a man... whatever that means.  Since the story in question was from a male's point of view, I took it as a compliment (although I know it was a snark).  So, I counted 'em up.  From my biblio:

Female main characters or POVs: 16
Male main characters or POVs: 9
Combos: 2
Unknown: 1

So, I guess although it feels like I write more male characters, the stories/poems I get published are more from a female's pov.  Good.

And hey, the "unknown" up there is because my upcoming poem, "Retinal Occlusion (Eat Me, Eyeball)" could come from anyone's pov.  Although it was inspired by when my retina tore, and when it first did, I thought, "Shit weasel!"

Anyone who gets that reference gets a lollipop.

Anyway, last news: I'll be the Featured Author next month at Apex Online.  A reprint of my story, "Chocolate Ex-Lax Cake and the Sucker Man" will run, as well as an interview with yours truly.  I'll post the link when it's all up!

posted by: athenawj at 20:06 | link | comments (5) |
writing

Proud Momma

It's my pleasure to announce that for the third year in a row, YD has made it to Mid-State Orchestra.  Fifth chair viola, just like last year.  Yay for her!

Of course, just like last year and the year before, after the audition all I'm hearing is, "I sucked", and "I messed up this", and "I messed up that".  I swear, for a kid who loves her viola so much, she sure is lacking in the self-confidence area.  Buck up, kiddo! :D

posted by: athenawj at 20:32 | link | comments (7) |
music, kids

I'm up to just over 69,000 words in my novel.  The home stretch is in sight, although there's still one question lingering that will most likely be answered before I get to that point in the denouement.  Much slower going since I hit that 50,000 goal, what with T'giving and our vacation, but I picked the manuscript back up yesterday morning and plan on sticking with it until I get done.  Then it's on to the dreaded second draft...

The only problem I think I may be having right now, in addition to a few awful, dreaded, no-no adverbs, is that I may be telling a lot more than I'm showing.  I'm resolved to remain extremely conscious of that during the revisions.  And then I've got to find a qualified reader to clue me in to anything my tired eyes may have missed. 

All in all, though, I really like how the story's turned out. I didn't think my protagonist would become so proactive.  Seeing how she's become and what she will do is quite a joy, actually.

***

OD and YD had their Christmas concerts last night.  Actually, there was NO Christmas music at all.  While the majority of the violins in YD's orchestra were timid, I did enjoy their renditions of "Stairway to Heaven" and a John Williams trilogy (who can't smile when the Star Wars theme begins playing?).  But OD's symphony!  Man!  What a pleasure to hear them.  Polished and damn near perfect.  Out of their numbers, I enjoyed The Marriage of Figaro the most.  However, the clarinets were all the way in the back. I think I caught sight of OD's shoe at one point.

Mr. Calm and I sat behind YD's best friend's mother.  Who should sit behind her right before the performances began?  Well... let's put it this way.  I have no love for this woman or her family.  There is a church sign on our street about not holding onto grudges, and I agree, but at this point I cannot forgive.  Because of circumstances that had nothing to do with them, did not affect them in the least, they ostracized us, blatantly ignored us, and the oldest daughter verbally bullied YD so much at the beginning of the year that she wanted to switch schools.  There's never been an apology.  The mother looked at us twice last night-- turned around in her chair and looked right at us-- and never said a word, yet when she stood up when the concert was over, exclaimed, "Oh!  I didn't even see you there!" and said hello. 

I turned away.  I don't care if I seemed rude, and I can't be like Mr. Calm and act like nothing ever happened.  More importantly than how I feel, her family hurt my daughter deeply, and it will take me a while to forgive that.

I know I can't fight all my children's battles.  I know I can't say what came into my mind as she sat in front of us last night (that woman would have burst into flames if I had).  But I also know that there has to come a time when you have to stop turning the tables on yourself; forgetting the past all in the name of smoothing things over.  I already do that too much.

posted by: athenawj at 06:48 | link | comments (6) |
writing, kids

I was told in a dream yesterday by the other models that I needed to come to my blog and tell ya'll that I'm America's Next Top Model.

So, there.  I'm America's Next Top Model.

:D

posted by: athenawj at 16:24 | link | comments |

Reading someone's post this morning reminded me of a long dialogue I had with myself the other night; one that's been continuing on for the last couple of years.  I can't rightly call myself a Christian anymore.  It's a little sad, letting go of something like that, but I just don't subscribe to too much of what it's about.  For the longest time I haven't even believed what's out there is Christianity, or ever was.  It's Paulism, and it's not for me.

I'm sure there are those out there who would say, "It doesn't matter if it's not for you, it's the Way", but, um, no.  Free will and all that jazz, right?  I would sit in church when I was ten, eleven, twelve,  petrified that someone was going to pull me down for an altar call, slap me on the forehead and declare me saved, and all I could think of was, "If God made me the way I was, why do I need to change?  What do I need to be saved from?"  Heavy stuff for a little kid; scary stuff that shouldn't be around at that age.

Jesus was a great teacher and leader for the Jews.  Too bad more people didn't listen to him, what he ultimately wanted, and what a horrible death.  There isn't much more moving than a Maundy Thursday service, snuffed out in early darkness like his life.  He died for our sins, and that should have been that, but now we have all this contrivance and fear and it's all so much bullshit.  Why live a life of fear for that ultimate reward, when we cannot possibly know there is an ultimate reward, no matter what your preacher tells you on Sunday morning? 

Anyway.

I'm a Deist.  Jesus was a great man.  But honestly, I've gotten more inspiration to live my life in a good way by those I've known firsthand.  Don't get me wrong.  I've felt God's presence in my life.  There are those who would scoff and present rational arguments against that, but sometimes the irrational happens in spite of all the 'evidence', and no one can tell me I haven't been touched.

I feel calm.  I feel good. I'm still not sure about some things, and probably never will be, but at least with this I've come to a conclusion.

***

Just so this won't be so heavy, here is your Quote O' the Week.  When we pick up the girls from school, they put their stuff in the trunk.  No one told my mother-in-law that.

YD: Nana, open the trunk.
Nana: Why?  Who's going to sit in the trunk?

posted by: athenawj at 06:50 | link | comments (3) |
silly stuff, the seriousness of it all

Back to real life

Well, we're back.  I have to say, we will NEVER go back to Disney in the summer.  This was the time of year to go: with the exception of the high of 85 on Friday, most of our trip was around 70 degrees and SO lovely.  It's nice to walk around a park and not feel as if you're about to dissolve into a puddle of sweat.  I didn't even mind the occasional rain the first two days we were there-- we brought the umbrellas, we dealt.

We stayed at the Caribbean Beach Resort on the first floor (yay!), with a window that looked right out to the lagoon (double yay!).  At check-in, we got Mickey and Minnie badges that said "Happy Anniversary", and to my surprise, Mr. Calm wore his every day (mine was on the strap of my messenger bag).  Many cast members told us happy anniversary, and after we rented a Sea Raycer for thirty minutes and drove up and down the lagoon, the clerk at the marina told us there was no charge because we were there for our anniversary.  Nice. :)

Tuesday night we shelled out the extra money (actually, we pre-bought the tickets) for Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party (MVMCP) at Magic Kingdom, which ran from 7-midnight.  Our table at the Crystal Palace where we ate dinner was decorated with a heart made of Mickey confetti, and we got a cute certificate signed by Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore and Piglet after our meal.  Now, I know the party can get crowded, especially the nearer you get to Xmas, but we picked the right night to go because we walked onto every single ride we went on.  Anyone who's gone when it's busy knows how wonderful that is.  We rode everything we wanted to, although I declined to join Mr. Calm on Space Mountain. I don't like the shakes and the terrified feeling I'm going to plummet to my death in pitch dark.  Fans of Captain Jack Sparrow will love the revamped Pirates ride.  I was finally able to enjoy Peter Pan's Flight because my kids told me after the last time I rode it that it really wasn't that high.  And I can never get enough of the Haunted Mansion.

Other special notes:

The signed card from Mickey and Minnie and the balloons awaiting us in our room when we returned from park on Monday.

The free chocolate mousse we got at Le Cellier in Canada after our lunch, and the certificate signed by many of the servers.  Bonus: the terrific Canadian Cheddar Cheese soup and the pretzel bread.  I could live on pretzel bread.  Until I got scurvy, that is.

All the different holiday hats everyone wore (and I in my Minnie Mouse holiday ears headband-- yes, I wore it!).

The Christmas decorations I've been waiting several years to see.

The guy from Marseilles who worked in France.  I had a fun conversation with him about OD's trip last summer, and he urged me to visit because I "have history" with the country.  He was very happy to help me find on the map all the places OD visited.

The Grand Marnier orange slush I slurped down.  Tasty, but afterward the alcohol made me sweat like a hairy man.  Related: the drunk woman who sauntered by with a huge beer and spied me sitting on the bench with my drink.  "Mmmm... what's THAT?" she asked.  We were in EPCOT at night, btw.  You can find drunks there at that time.  Sit on a bench and have a fun viewing time.

Finally getting to see Illuminations.  Bonus: also being able to see the fireworks from the beach at our hotel.

Going to the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater in MGM and sitting in the back of a car and watching clips of old B-movies.  Don't go for the food, go for the atmosphere.  Trust me on this.  Bonus: only having to wait ten minutes for a "table" at the height of lunchtime with no reservation.

Seeing the Osborne Family Spectacle of Lights at MGM.  Standing in the middle and watching them "dance" in time to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "Christmas Eve Sarajevo 24/7".  Smiling like a child, then looking around and wondering why more people aren't smiling. ???

Seeing all the various storytellers in World Showcase.  The best: the Monkey King in China.

Getting to stand ten feet from (and separated by glass) and take pictures of a 29-year-old, 450-pound silver-backed gorilla getting dental surgery.  Bonus: I know he was in the room, and I think Roy Disney may be in the picture.  Since everyone's wearing surgical masks, I may not be able to tell.

Finding my beloved yogurt candy in Japan and buying three huge packages of it. 

The boulangerie patisserie in France.  'Nuff said.

Mr. Calm's willingness to go on Star Tours with me even though it makes him a little nauseous, and not getting mad (or even caring much) when I chickened out of Tower of Terror (another ride that truly makes me feel like I'm going to die).

Soarin' at EPCOT.  If I can sit on the lowest ride, I'm a total goof for this ride.  And this time, I kept my eyes open the whole time.

Learning to draw Goofy in the animation studio at MGM.  I would have been extremely pissed at myself if I hadn't been able to do it.  I did it.  An almost exactamundo replication. Yes, I'm bragging.

Getting inspired by the colors and patterns of Discovery Island in Animal Kingdom and coming up with some ideas that you may see in a few weeks.

Being told by the hostesses in the China restaurant, "15 years???  You look... so young!"  Just how old are you supposed to look after 15 years of marriage? ;)

Pins.  Pins.  PINS.  I added a lot to my pin collection.  Me very happy.

Spending an almost entirely irritation-free week with my husband.  Yes, he bugged me once.  We got through it, and moved on.  Lots of hand-holding and touching and it was exactly what we needed.

I have to figure out my time management this week, but when I'm done with my pix I'll put them up on my Flickr account.  We took some video, too, and I may put that up somewhere for my friends.

My MIL had a great time with the girls.  I think she was trying to be June Cleaver at one point, making them after-school milk and cookies (what's she trying to do-- show me up?? ;)), and made them homemade "chicken" soup (it was actually from the leftover turkey).  She also let them try a little wine but they didn't like it (good!).  Apparently, no one around here can understand her accent.  She got a lot of "What?  What?", but no one ever asked her where she is from (as opposed to TX, where they ask her all the time, it seems).  And she only got lost once, driving back from dropping YD off at rehearsal.

Those are the major points.  Like I said, great time.  Difficult to settle back into real life, but at the same time, I'm glad I'm back home with my girls.

posted by: athenawj at 07:09 | link | comments (2) |
marriage, disney